


pie roh is thirsty

by kittybenzedrine



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Drug use mention, Excessive Cursing, Gender Slurs, Needless Violence, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-02-22 07:59:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2500472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittybenzedrine/pseuds/kittybenzedrine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt generator: RED Pyro and RED Scout; Say that to my face + water</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All Pyro had wanted was a goddamn glass of water.</p>
            </blockquote>





	pie roh is thirsty

**Author's Note:**

> My head canon for the reason she sees Pyroland is because she smokes weed and it screws with her head and causes her to hallucinate. Do not doubt me. I have seen that shit happen.
> 
> Another head canon is that she's Panamanian and Korean.

All Pyro had wanted was a goddamn glass of water.

 

She'd woken up about two minutes ago, and had dry mouth like a bitch. Getting high always left her mouth feeling like cotton, no matter how long ago it had been since she smoked. She completely decimated the glass she kept next to her bed, but she was still thirsty as hell. She waited a bit, letting her mind clear up some. The world was a lot more muted and calm, and everything was a bit quieter. But no matter how tired she was, she was still thirsty as fuck. So at around midnight, she stumbled out of her room in a sports bra and baggy boxers, armed with the empty glass she had just chugged down, and made her way to the kitchen.

Well, she had tried to go to the communal bathroom to fill it up in a sink, but she heard Soldier singing the Star Spangled Banner in there, and fuck no. She didn't like to even be in there while someone was brushing their teeth, let alone while they were naked. And Soldier was known for giving naked, patriotic hugs, and just, yeah. No.

So there she was, padding along the corridors, empty glass in hand, eyes bloodshot, and very obviously still a little high. And kinda hungry, too. Engie has made stew that night, and she'd had like three helpings, but whatever. She wanted something sweet. Goddamn. Chocolate sounded great right then. Maybe she could steal some from Medic. He kept the good shit for himself.

 

The commons area was dim as she made her way through, but the kitchen was lit up. It hurt her eyes. Scout stood at the sink, watching water flow into something. He glanced at her as she approached, but said nothing. Upon further examination, Pyro saw a stew crusted bowl overflowing with water.

Alright, that was cool. He was rinsing his dishes for once, who was she to complain. She set her glass down and muttered to him that it was clean, leave it alone, and checked the fridge for a drink.

Milk. Milk. Milk. Scrumpy. Beer. Beer. Beer. Beer. Beer. Like seven cases of beer. Orange juice that was turning a very lovely shade of green. Another metric ton of beer. Wine? Gross. 

Not a single goddamn bottle of water. What a bunch of dicks.

With a huff, she closed the fridge and approached the runner once more. Scout still stood at the sink, watching as the flow of water occasionally carried a flake of dried stew juice away. O... kay?

 

Gently, she nudged him with her elbow. "Hey, Scout? There any way I can use the sink real quick?" She asked, trying to make herself sound slightly less high, even throwing out a smile when he looked at her.

"Nah girl, I'm doin' dishes. I'll be done with 'em soon," he told her with a grid, his hands not moving from the lip of the counter. He made no move for the sponge. She looked at him, obviously very confused.

"Please? I mean, I just need some water and I'll be go-"

"I'm doin' the dishes. Try the bathroom," he suggested, still making absolutely no move to actually wash the dishes. 

"Oh fuck no," she told him, shaking her head with wide eyes. "Soldier's in there, otherwise I wouldn't have even come in here."

He let out a snort, a half smile showing off his teeth and a very sharp canine. "I feel ya', girl. Don't no one like goin' in there while his bonkers ass is in there."

She nodded, leaning against the counter, watching him watch the water. Absently, she rubbed her scared left arm and wondered if maybe he was high.

"Scout?" She asked softly, giving him the absolute best puppy eyes that she could muster. "Can I please use the sink? I only need it for a second, and I'm super duper thirsty-"

"You can wait a damn minute, Py! I'm doin' these damn dishes! I've told you that like three times now!" He exclaimed at her, looking at her like she was out of her mind.

She glared at him, her pleasant post-high abruptly breaking off. Wow. What the fuck. What a fucking dick.

 

She grumbled vulgarities at him under her breath as she turned away, cup in hand. She could just tough it out and get it from the bathroom. 

"Da fuck did'ja jus' say to me, mumbles?" He called at her, the sink shutting off. Okay wow, what the fuck. "Say that to my fuckin' face."

She turned on her heels and glares at him. She repeated herself, cursing at him in a mix of Spanish and Korean instead of English.

"Wanna repeat that where I can unnerstand ya', freak?" He asked with a sneer.

With a mockingly sweet smile, she told him, "Usted es una virgen patético."

The runner glared at her, raising his unwrapped fists in a very obvious threat. He understood virgin and pathetic. She stared him down, daring him to do anything. He let out an angry puff of breath through his nose, but did absolutely nothing.

She turned to just go back to her room, but was unceremoniously thrown to the floor with a vicious kick to her back. Pyro landed on her stomach, painfully squishing her breasts, and slamming her chin into the tile floor, managing to twist enough that the glass didn't hit the floor and shatter. She rolled over and kicked out at him and missed as he jumped on her.

As soon as he was on top of her to where she couldn't get away, he started hitting. She shrieked at him, telling him to get off and stop. It was by the third hit to her jaw, and the second to her nose, and probably the tenth to her cheekbones, that she remembered the cup. 

Very deliberately, she smashed the glass into he top of his head, which was around the time that he started screaming. She threw him off of herself and into the counters with a hearty 'thud', got to her feet, and viciously kicked him in the ribs.

 

It was fucking _on_.

 

Her nose was bleeding pretty hard, and so was his head, yet they were still throwing blows. She was pretty sure his knuckles were broken, because the ones on her left hand were. Clever boy had also figured out that, even though it didn't hurt quite as much as a penis, a knee to the vagina still fucking hurt. She'd bitten the fuck out of him like six times, and as payment, her head was banged against the counter.

It was at the point that he was trying to drown her in the bowl in the sink that the pressure of his hands was suddenly gone. 

She pulled her face out, gasping for air. Engineer, looking bleary eyed and only in his boxers, was holding a writhing Scout back by his arms. Perfect. She lunged at him, but she didn't see Medic until he wrapped his arms around her, immobilizing her upper half with a giddy 'nope!'.

As a matter of fact, she hadn't noticed the rest of her teammates until then. Even Sniper was in there, looking a bit amused

"What the hell're y'all doin'?!" The Texan demanded, sounding tired and very pissed.

"She's a fuckin' bitch!" Scout shouted, right as Pyro yelled, "Scout's a fucking dick!"

Engie let out a long breath. He was getting too damn old for this. "Goddammit you two. I'm losin' well needed sleep." He sighed. "Scout, you tell me yer side of the story first."

 

"Okay," Scout started, wriggling out of the shorter man's grip as Pyro struggled to get out of the German's tight hold. "So, I'm in here, trynna do the dishes ya' know, trynna be _productive_ an' shit, and she came in here, kept askin' to use the sink even though I told her like, a million times, that I was doin' the dishes, an' she refused to go fill it up in another sink 'cause she's a bitch, and then got mad at me and started cussin' at me in fuckin' Spanish and Chinese-

"Korean," she corrected venomously.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whateva'. So she gets in my face, cussin' at me an' shit, and then she fuckin' _attacked_ me-"

"You're a fucking _liar_!" She shouted, trying to thrash out of the medic's arms. Engineer tried to quiet her and took a hold of Scout again when he started viciously disagreeing, but she spoke over both of them.

"I wanted some water and he wouldn't let me use the sink even though he was just running water for like five minutes! He wasn't even filling the sink! So yeah, I cussed at him in Korean and Spanish, and he acted like he was gonna hit me! So I tried to walk off, but he kicked me in the back, hurt my fuckin' tits when I landed on them, goddamn, and started beating the shit out of me, and-"

She stopped to take a breath. Scout looked livid.

"-and then we started fighting for real and he broke my nose and I smashed a glass over his head to get him off of me, and it got really bad and we were fighting really hard and then he tried to drown me in a bowl and then you guys showed up."

She took another gasping breath. She was the only person they know who could rival Scout's motor mouth.

Engineer stared at her. 

"Over a glass a' water. You two started this over a goddamn glass a' water." He shook his head, very, very pissed now. "You two are goin' through respawn as punishment, and then back to bed. I ain't dealin' with this bullshit no more, from neither of you."

Spy pushed through the group with a mutter of 'Dieu merci', and handed Engie his revolver. His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked like he was about to drop. "Shoot the brats so we can all get back to bed." He grumbled, his voice thick from sleep.

And that's exactly what the Texan did.

 

They were both escorted back to their rooms from respawn, and told not to get back up again. As if they were little kids. Well, she understood that it had gotten out of hand, but still. She was 19, not 5. She was a big girl that could make her own big girl decisions. 

Scout had thrown a hissy fit upon waking up in respawn, bitching about how it wasn't fair and they weren't his ma, they couldn't tell him what to do and blah blah blah. Spy had threatened to shoot him in the kneecaps, which made him quiet down to angry mumbling.

Engineer escorted her back to her room, and watched as she climbed into bed. She covered herself up and looked at him. Oh no. He was giving the 'disappointed father' look. "Sorry, Engie," she mumbled.

He waved a dismissive hand at her with a sigh. "You behave now, Smokey. No more of this fightin' business this late. It's downright awful to wake people up this late." Another sigh. "G'night, darlin'." Light off, door closed.

She shifted around, getting herself comfortable under the cool blankets. She closed her eyes, fisting a hand into the blanket as she tried to even out her breathing. She swallowed. Her throat was dry as fuck.

 

Goddammit.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for my poor Spanish. I had two teachers my first year of it, and three my second year. And I barely passed c:
> 
> Yeah, this is unbeta'd, and I wrote most of this while I was sick and drugged up, so pardon how bad it is.


End file.
